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How to bond and with whom to bond is explained in this story on love about Bruce Lipton’s personal experiences and his planetary discoveries as a scientist.
He begins with an observation: our human drive to bond is ancient yet it took almost almost 3 billion years before single celled organisms realized they are better off as multicellular organisms! When single cells realized they can share the workload and have more awareness of the environment, they didn’t want to stay single anymore. More and more single cells felt they were better off together so they bonded to become highly structured organisms composed of millions, billions, and then trillions of socially interactive cells.
An example is the human body, Bruce says. It has 50 trillion cells and each cell has 1.4 volts. That’s a huge amount of energy in our bodies which we can redirect however we want with focus and attention – through mediation, for example.
Bruce then zooms in on the fascinating behavior of atoms. He is particularly interested in the 6 noble gases in the periodic table: helium (He), neon (Ne), krypton (Kr), argon (Ar), xenon (Xe), and radon (Rn). Bruce explains, “They are the only elements that don’t form chemical compounds (only during very special circumstances). The secret why atoms create ‘chemistry’ and bond with one another is that they always try to balance their electrons. Incomplete electrons causes the atom to wobble and seek to balance their wobble by bonding with other atoms that have a complementary wobble. When bonded together the two imbalanced atoms spin in harmony.”
“In contrast, the chemical bonding among the other 112 elements represent the effort of wobbly atoms to generate spin-balance. This chemical bonding is a co-dependent relationship. In such pairings, each atom depends upon – needs – another atom to acquire peace and harmony.”
Human relationships behave just like atoms, according to Bruce. “Almost all of us are to a certain degree psychologically ‘unbalanced.’ And we have the tendency to do the same thing that atoms do – seek a complementary partner who is out of balance as well. When two partners complement each other’s imbalances, together they can spin ‘harmoniously’ with no wobbles. So while our conscious minds seek partnership with individuals who fulfill our wishes and desires, our subconscious minds are unconsciously seeking individuals who possess traits that complement our personal, but unobserved, imbalances.”
There are people who are like noble gases, Bruce points out. “They can spin happily on their own and don’t need anyone else to balance them. Wobbly atoms/people around them can act as crazy as they want but noble gases are not drawn in. They keep on spinning happily on their own. ‘Noble gases can love the jerk, but they aren’t attached to the jerk!’”
How do noble gases fare in relationships? “Spectacularly!” Bruce says.
“Noble gases have the ability to form ‘excimers’ or ‘excited dimers’ – it’s a special bonding association between two atoms that would not be bound together in their normal state. When a noble gas atom is hit by a photon of light, its ‘normal’ state is profoundly altered. The atom absorbs the photon’s energy and begins to vibrate faster because of its high level of energy. In other words, an ‘enlightened’ noble gas atom becomes ‘excited.’”
“Unlike conventional ‘chemistry,’ which is based on codependent bonding to produce spin-balance and stability, energized noble gas atoms are like people primed and ready for selfless love – a world of sharing and caring. Excimer couples glow. Under normal circumstances, the life span of a glowing, solitary excimer is rather short. However, if there are other noble gas atoms in the vicinity, they can absorb that emitted photon and become excited themselves – which means excimers can lead to the creation of more excimers.”
Bruce’s analogy expounds Margaret Mead’s famous observation: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” In short, societal transformation begins with individuals – not hundreds or thousands of them – just a handful.
The right to vote, the right to equal pay, the right to speak freely – were started by individuals who bonded to together challenge unhealthy, dangerous, unjust policies, laws, traditions, values, systems, and structures.
These handful of pioneers, activists, and visionaries can be compared to noble gases – spinning independently ready to bond with other excimers to form more excimers – while striving to remain unperturbed, unaffected and detached by difficulties along the way. Including people who are not yet able to spin independently by themselves.
Bruce suggests that we become like noble gases and excimers and find our inner balance first. So we don’t form codependent relationships. So we don’t rely on someone else’s imbalance to balance our imbalance.
But if nature intends us to bond successfully, why has bonding become our modern time’s greatest struggle?
Can’t we really not disagree without being disagreeable? Can’t we really not unite despite our differences? Can’t we really not just accept our differences and use them to everyone’s advantage?
Bruce’s advice is to keep on trying. Learn the lessons we need to learn and then we can bond successfully. Follow the example of cells to create larger cooperative communities – and assemble to form the larger superorganism that is humanity.